


There’s a suffering to terrible to name

by teaspoonbooks27



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Fanfiction Friday, Get your tissues, It’s Quiet Uptown, I’m sorry, death of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaspoonbooks27/pseuds/teaspoonbooks27
Summary: Will and Alyss have to learn to live with the unimaginable.
Relationships: Alyss Mainwaring/Will Treaty, Halt O'Carrick & Will Treaty, Horace Altman & Will Treaty
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	There’s a suffering to terrible to name

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from”It’s Quiet Uptown” if that tells you anything about how this story is going to go.   
> Trigger warning for non graphic death of a child

Horace has never felt so helpless in his life. He has done a lot of difficult things in his life, but this was by far the hardest. Watching his best friend stare down at the fresh mound of dirt in the cemetery and knowing that there is absolutely nothing he could possibly do or say that would alleviate the pain. Because what he was going through was something that Horace wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.

No one should have to bury their child.

Horace and Cassandra had just found out last month that they were expecting their first child and already, the thought of losing their baby felt like a dagger to his heart. How was Will still breathing after enduring such pain?

Rose Lillian Treaty never had a chance. She took her last breath less than 24 hours after she took her first. The physician had told them that there was something wrong with her heart. That she was never going to be able to make it. That nothing could be done.

That didn’t stop Will from screaming at the man to do something, anything, to save his daughter. Horace and Cassandra had thankfully arrived the day before Alyss went into labor, so he and Halt were with Will every step of the way. He will never forget the way Will’s eyes lit up with joy at hearing his daughters first cry. Then the way that light was doused out when the physician explained what was going to happen. Horace had never seen Will so frantic. Normally the Ranger was able to keep calm under the most stressful, dangerous situations. But this was nothing like anything the two friends had ever been through. Even though the physician was sure that Rose wouldn’t make it more than a day or so, Will begged Horace to send someone out to Malcolm in Norgate. Horace couldn’t refuse his friend anything at that point and sent Redmont’s fastest riders. They still weren’t back by the time they held the funeral.

Alyss was too weak from the birth to attend the funeral. Cassandra and Pauline had decided to stay with her so Will could go. When Horace came by to walk with him to the cemetery, Will had been brushing Tug in a mindless trance. Despite Tug’s greeting, Will didn’t seem to notice Horace’s approach. It’s wasn’t until Horace placed his hand on Will’s arm that he had looked up at his friend.

“I’m not going.” The words were weak and empty. Just like Will’s eyes when he said them.

“You have to Will. If you don’t you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Halt and I will be by your side the whole time.”

Will sighed deeply, then wordlessly nodded once.

He didn’t change or shave, not that anyone really expected him to. The crowd was large, much larger than the group that had attended Will and Alyss wedding. It seemed as though all of Redmont wanted to show their support for the Ranger and Courier that they were all so proud of. Baron Arald and his wife Sandra tried to offer their condolences when Will first arrived but he just brushed passed them, as if he didn’t even realize they were there.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that, well, he’s not really up for talking much...” Horace tried the explain to them, trailing off.

“We understand Horace, there’s no need to apologize. Just please tell us if there is anything we can do for him and Alyss, anything at all.” Sandra patted Horace on the arm. Baron Arald was uncharacteristically quiet, eyes cast down, and lips pursed in a tight line.

“Thank you for that, I will.” Horace said and went to catch up with Will. He found him standing by the gravesite, Halt beside him.

The service had ended over an hour ago, the attendees all going down to Jenny’s restaurant where she was hosting the reception. Normally Horace would be starving, desperate to fill himself with some of Jenny’s delicious food. Today however, the mere thought off food made his stomach roll.

Will stood stiff as a statue, just like he had through the whole service. Horace was standing a meter or so behind Will, with Halt next to him. The senior Ranger had the hood of his cloak pulled up, hiding his face in shadows, but Horace knew that he’d see red eyes and tear tracks that matched his own if the hood was pushed back.

“Will,” Halt called, “let’s get you back home. I’m sure that Alyss is waiting for you.”

Horace looked gratefully over at Halt. Both of them knew that Will would stand in front of the grave until his legs gave out, silently and stoically standing guard, but Horace didn’t have the heart to be the first one to ask him to walk away.

“No.” Will’s voice was broken and horse, but it still carried notes of determined steel. Halt walked forward to Will and placed a hand on his shoulder Horace mirrored Halt’s movements on Will’s other side.

“Please Will, let’s go back to the cabin. We can come back tomorrow.” Horace said quietly.

“I am not leaving her.” Will ground out.

“You can’t stay here forever. Your wife needs you Will.” Halt told him gently.

Will shook his head, “No she doesn’t. She doesn’t want me around.”

“What are you talking about? Of course she does.” Horace replied.

“No! She doesn’t. She couldn’t. Not after this. Not after I failed them both.” Will jerked away from Horace and Halt angrily. Tears were cascading down his face.

“Will, son, look at me.” Halt took hold of Will’s chin and guided his face so that they were looking eye to eye. It broke Halt’s heart to see his boy in so much pain. To see those eyes, that were normally so warm and full of life, cold and harsh. He wondered if they would ever be the same again.

“You couldn’t have stoped this Will. No one could have. And I know that you want to be able to blame someone for this, even if it’s yourself. You want someone to hate, somewhere to direct all of your pain and anger. But you can’t pull away from Alyss right now. She is feeling exactly what you are feeling right now. You need to hold her close, not push her away.”

“I can’t Halt! Because it is my fault! I am her father. A father is supposed to protect his children and I failed before I could even begin.”

“Will, fathers can’t protect their children from everything.” If they could, I would’ve been able to protect you from this, Halt thought before continuing, “Something are out of our control.”

“How am I supposed to go on Halt? Where do I go from here?” Will’s voice was now small and tired, the anger burnt out as quickly as it had flared. Now he just sounded like a young, loss, boy.

“You go home. You surround yourself with your family. And you take it day by day.”

And that’s what they did.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write this from Will’s point of view and I just couldn’t.   
> Come yell at me on Tumblr at forgedroyalseal  
> Let me know if you have any ideas for next weeks FanFiction Friday.


End file.
